Birmingham council leader Sir Albert Bore was kind enough in his budget speech to reference my remark that a “50 ways to save money bulletin” put together by Eric Pickles was so simplistic it amounted to ‘Pippa Middleton does local government’.
If the redoubtable Mr Pickles and Ms Middleton did put their heads together to produce ten jolly super cash-cutting wheezes, this is probably what they would come up with:
- You’ll have noticed that council chief officers’ offices are very large and usually have comfy armchairs and a sofa. It’s always worth a root around down the back of the furniture for coins and other interesting items. You’d be surprised at what you might find.
- Place a large receptacle in each office and label it ‘swear box’. Make a charge of 10p for each soft oath uttered and 50p for those really naughty words. This is a sure-fire money raiser, especially during these difficult times for local government. Take a tip, though: keep the swear box padlocked.
- There’s no need to bring a kettle to boil each time a hot drink is required. Switch off as soon as